It's Gonna Start...Really, I Mean It This Time!

Flashback to June 2008. I weighed in at a whopping 270 pounds. I had every good intention (the word "intention" is scape goat excuse) to do something about getting in shape. What have I done about it? Well, I purchased a killer exercise program that only required “one hour a day”. PFFFFT! Being in "crunch time" at my job and throwing newspapers in the early hours, I could not even muster up that much time and even when I could, I was just too exhausted to get up and move it. Even though I was unable (unwilling) to get off my butt to do some push ups, I did however begin to control the amount of food I was consuming. I refrained from being a social eater and cut down my soft drink intake from a couple of litres a day to about one 12 oz can. Pretty good I'd say...but not good enough.

So where am I today? Well, about 2 weeks ago I was sitting at a pretty 241 pounds. I was one pound away from reaching the 30 pound mark. That quickly was crushed, and I it took was a bag of Cadbury mini eggs...

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Yep, I ate the whole bag in one sitting. Got thrown into crunch time again at work. Only having enough time to catch around 4 hours of sleep a night. From there it was constant eating and munching on anything I could fit into my pie hole. Today I am back to almost 250 pounds. I could blame my behavior on a number of things, as that is always the easiest way to justify what you have done. But I am not. I am going to regain control and this time, I am going to throw in some exercise...however, not today. I'm gonna hit in 6.

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Why 6? We are starting a "Biggest Loser" competition at work and the first weigh-in is on Tuesday, April 6th. So I am slothfully not watching what or how much I am eating until then. I figure the more I start with, the more I can lose, and therefore have a better chance at the ca$h prize. Yea...I don't know what I am thinking. The goal is to get into shape, not winning the money. But it is a little extra incentive...

Save My What?

I was 15 years old. I wanted a real job. The kind of job that required you to clock in and clock out. I don't remember why. Maybe all of my friends had jobs and I thought I needed one too. I honestly can't say. My Father said, "You can't get a job...you're too young, you need to be 16." I was going to prove him wrong. That is what teenagers try to do, prove their parents wrong. They don't know what they are talking about...
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Being the youngest of 6 children, I had the opportunity to witness over the years my siblings out in the "workforce". Looking back, I can not say whether or not I remember all of the places they worked, but I do remember a couple of them did spend some time at McDonald's. Could there be any better place to work than a "Fast Food" restaurant? I didn't think so...at the time.
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I tried McDonald's, I tried Burger King, I tried any place that I figured would give me a discount on my meal when I took a 30 minute break during my shift. What a deal! Discounted fries while kicking up your feet in a break room. Real work with real compensation. But no one would hire me...
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After much searching, I finally landed a job at Wendy's. I couldn't wait to tell my Father...and rub that, "Ha! I told you so!", into the faces of both of my parents. But that would have to wait, as they needed me to start that same day. What I thought was going to be the most exciting day that would immediately launch me into the rights and privileges of adulthood turned out quite the opposite. I had never been so miserable. Washing dishes, emptying trash, sanitizing urinals, and scrubbing toilets of those patrons whose meals did not sit so well with them. Still, I was proud of myself. I had a job.
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The following day, I told my parents how great the job was. I was not to say anything different as it would have ruined the moment. Out of the blue, my father proceeded to talk to me about money. How I would need to save it. I interjected and said, "Its my money and I will do what I want with it." I think my dad tried mumbling something about matching whatever I would save. When I say he mumbled, what I really mean was, I still did not care to listen. He kept repeating over and over, "Son, you need to save your money!"
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They following day, I returned to my place of employment. The manager had quickly pulled me aside and told me I no longer had a job. "What?, I don't understand...I worked really hard last night!", I exclaimed. To his reply, "I am sorry, I can not let you work. You are not 16 years old yet, it's against the law." With my head hung low, I left. I knew when I got home, I was going to get the "I told you so." from my parents. For some reason, I did not. I had really good parents. They knew they were right. They knew that I knew it and that was enough for them.
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To this day, I wish I wasn't so full of myself not to listen to my Dad when he tried to educate me about saving money. I think that was the first and the last time he tried. I guess he thought if I didn't listen the initial go around, why try again. I wish he would have sat on my chest and beat me over the head with a brick until I understood about saving. I have a brick with each of my children's names on it. I will teach them.

Physically Fit

Physically Fit:
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Does not mean: "If you can physically fit it in your mouth, you should eat it."

Number 3 On The List Of Men My Wife Finds Attractive...

From the dinner table...
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"You know that guy who was the Joker...with the scary make-up? He died because he played a bad part.", said my 8 year old daughter.
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"Aw crap! Jack Nicholson is dead...", I thought to myself.

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My wife replies...,"No, he did because playing that part caused him alot of stress and he had to take medicine. He mixed the wrong medicines and that's why he died...(pause)...But underneath all of that scary make-up, he was really cute."
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It took me a moment, to realize that my wife was not talking about Jack Nicholson, but was referring to Heath Ledger. I am so out of touch with the times...

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"Oh that is just great! Another I feel like I need to measure up to...", I added.

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So lets add Health onto the list of "Men My Wife Finds Attractive" at number 3.

Mandles Candles For Men, Manly Men

We are what we are...

Financial Terms

GOOD MORNING. In order to keep you up-to-date with our wild new financial situation, I think these terms will be helpful....

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CEO Chief Embezzlement Officer

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CFO Corporate Fraud Officer

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BULL MARKET a random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

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BEAR MARKET 6 - 18 month period when kids get no allowance, wife gets no jewellery & husband gets no sex.

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VALUE INVESTING the art of buying low and selling lower.

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P/E RATIO the percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

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BROKER what my financial planner has made me.

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STANDARD & POOR your life in a nutshell.

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STOCK ANALYST idiot who just downgraded your stock.

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STOCK SPLIT when your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

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MARKET CORRECTION the day after you buy stocks.

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CASH FLOW the movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

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YAHOO what you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

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WINDOWS what you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo at $240 per share.

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INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

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PROFIT an archaic word no longer in use.

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If you had purchased $1000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you will have $49.00 today.

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If you had purchased $1000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you will have $33.00 today.

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If you had purchased $1000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you will have $0.00 today.

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But---if you had purchased $1000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, and then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund---you will have received $214.00.

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Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It's called the 401-Keg.

Missing In Action

Where did February go? I suppose I was MIA. Here is a quick rundown of what has happened over the last month...

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At the end of January, there were layoffs across the board at Disney. Thankfully I was able to dodge that bullet. However, it had turned things upside down for a few days. More on that later...

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The first weekend in February, I left on vacation for 2 weeks and 2 days. We had made our annual trip to Newport Beach, California. I believe this is the 8th year we've gone down. More on that later...

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Coming back home after the vacation, "life" was there waiting for me again...waiting to pile the weight of the world on my shoulders again. And it must have succeeded. Seriously, I feel like someone has clobbered me on my right shoulder with a Baseball Bat. The pain is intense. I do not recall how it happened, but I've been dealing with it for about 3 weeks now. Yes...I am a big baby.

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Anyway, I am back. Kommitted...once again.